Bullying in Schools

Bullying in schools is sadly a common problem and there is no school who does not struggle with it on some level at some point.

Children need to understand that bullying is only a “pretty” word for abuse and the South African Laws are changing regarding rights of the abused.  Bullying comes in many forms and we see less physical bullying and more cyber and social bullying happening in our schools.  With children all having cellphones, and having access to all types of social media it has become a playground for bullies to say what they want, as they feel protected behind a screen, and feel they can say things they would not normally have the guts to say to someone’s face.

Social bullying, excluding someone from a group or targeting someone as a group, has also been a new trend. Children feel “stronger” as group, supporting each other. 

We need to first understand why bullies bully. The bully is someone who has VERY low self esteem but wears a mask to show the world he/she is untouchable. It is this insecurity which allows the bully to feel more powerful when a group supports him/her.  Anger and frustration about something happening at home, or being bullied themselves before, might also be the reason for now targeting others and feeling a false sense of power.  This feeling often fades within seconds, while the victim could be scarred for life.

The seriousness of bullying does not seem to be understood within some schools.  More children cut, and even consider suicide, than ever before due to feeling a sense of hopelessness, being a constant victim of bullies. 

How do we stop this vicious cycle? 

Bullies need to be challenged on a regular basis to find the source of their anger and why they want to victimise others.  A zero tolerance to bullying should be implemented at all schools and at home. Almost 50% of children complain to us that they are the victims of sibling bullying. 

With so many divorced parents and step-siblings having to share homes, there are often battles having to be fought at home and the frustration is carried to school, where they want to take their power back by victimising someone else. Children feeling their parent are not standing up for them against a step brother or sister develops anger and frustration, and so the cycle begins.

Liesl is a motivational and inspirational speaker and
also visit schools to show that we are not alone in this
world and we are all having a difficult time with this
thing called "life."

What can one do to stop bullying? 

Rule one is stand up for others.  Never watch someone being bullied without making an attempt to stop it.  Some day someone might have to stand up for you.

Bullying is a symptom and we need to treat the cause. The cause can be treated with more positive than negative input. By each person giving compliments instead of breaking someone down.  We live in a very negative world and only when we make an effort to change it with small steps will we see the problem of abuse filtering out.

To those who are being bullied. ALWAYS understand that the bullying is not about you. It is about the bully who has issues. Never take it personal.  It does not always take the pain away but the pain might be less as we tend to take things so personal. 

A very simple story I use in talks is the following.  A few days ago a huge pink pig started chasing me down the road and it traumatised me.  I decided never to deal with it, just pretend it never happened.  Yesterday I found myself telling a child in our school with a pink top she looks SO ugly and why would she even think she is beautiful wearing pink? Well the thing is, there is nothing wrong with the girl, or her pink top, I am the one who still has issues about pink and haven’t dealt with it.  Now I am trying to make it other people’s problem and I have just turned myself into a bully in the process.

Moral of the story, deal with your own stuff, focus on your own life and be the best you can be! If we all did that, this world would be a much better place.

Written by: Liesl Schoonraad